Dear Lady who ordered TWO INCHES of caramel in the bottom of your drink,
I am judging you right now.
Sincerely,
Your horrified barista
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Diabetic Coma, Rant, Things you wish you could say | 2 Comments »
A district in Seattle vs. a mountain in Colorado.
These are two distinct geographical regions. If you come into my Starbucks and ask for a “Grande Pikes Peak”, I will kindly serve you the coffee you meant to ask for, and I will secretly want to hand you a map.
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Geography, Things Customers Say | Leave a Comment »
No lie. My daughter works at Starbucks in Denver and she told me this little diddy:
Customer in her 70′s walks in with make up piled on high and smeared red lipstick.
Barista: Good morning! Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you this morning?
Customer: My what a lovely smile you have.
Barista: Thank you very much!
Customer: That is the kind of smile you get from not going to church very much!
Barista: there are no words….
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Awkward Encounters, Church Smiles, Things Customers Say | Leave a Comment »
There have been a few times in my barista career that I’ve had to call security to take care of a customer situation, but never for a grammar-related incident. For the full story, please see:
The Great Starbucks Bagel Grammar Foofaraw
As the admirable Bon Qui Qui would say, “Welcome to [Starbucks] where you can have it your way, but don’t get crazy!”
Posted in Starbucks | Leave a Comment »
So a girl with a plant walks into a bar…
Wait, wrong joke.
So a girl with a plant walks into Starbucks. What kind of plant is that, I ask? Dunno, it belongs to my dad, says she…My plant died and it’s National Carry Your Plant Around Day so I borrowed his.
True story.
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Plants, Things Customers Say | 1 Comment »
No, I do not care to see your new tattoo, but thank you for offering.
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Awkward Encounters, Overshare | Leave a Comment »
The following is our first guest post, brought to you by a customer of a Starbucks somewhere in West Texas.
There was a lady in front of me who had a problem with her drink. She asked Mr. Barista Man,
What are all these markings on my cup? This doesn’t taste like my normal drink!
He proceeded to read off her (no less than 15 word) drink and it turns out that she had ordered a latte but was given a mocha. She then said,
No problem. I can just drink this mocha. But wait- (shouting) DOES MOCHA HAVE CALORIES?? I CAN SUFFER THROUGH A DRINK THAT’S NOT MINE, BUT NOT IF IT HAS CALORIES!
She was told that mocha does indeed have calories and she asked for her latte. She then turned to everyone around her and explained the whole story (which we had heard loud and clear).
I WOULD’VE DRANK IT BUT MOCHA HAS CALORIES! I BET YOU CAN TELL I’M A DIETITIAN, HUH???
Note from People of Starbucks moderator: In my mind’s eye, this woman is wearing brightly-colored scrubs featuring cats.
Posted in Starbucks | Tagged Guest Post | 1 Comment »
One of the more glamorous aspects of being a barista is taking out the trash. This isn’t just any trash mind you, it’s the People of Starbucks‘ trash. Royal refuse!
Of the dozen or so trash cans in the store, the two most exciting to service are the “women’s only” bin and the drive-thru can. You never know WHAT you’ll find in the latter (and always have a fair idea of the former).
Today I had the pleasure of changing out the DT trash*. Even from inside the store I could tell it was a steaming doozie – trash was bursting forth and even littering the surrounding ground a bit. I armed myself with my favorite pair of yellow flock-lined latex gloves, three large trashbags, and an adventurous spirit.
Turns out I should have armed myself with blinders, for I tossed open the lid and RIGHT THERE IN MY FACE LYING COVER-SIDE UP was a big ole porn DVD. It’s like the Olsen Twins: I didn’t WANT to look, but I couldn’t help but stare for a second. I have blocked out the title of the video, but suffice to say it involved teens and crazy times with lawn equipment. <shudder>
This whole episode begs the question: WHO would throw away porn at the Starbucks Drive-Thru and why would they choose THAT MOMENT, fresh out of the line and tasty beverages in hand, to discard it? I don’t know.
But we served them coffee.
Posted in Drive-Thru, Starbucks | Tagged Drive-Thru, Gross, Porn, Things that should be done at home, Trash | 4 Comments »
Dear Starbucks customer, we’re sorry your lady garments don’t support your lady parts, but you didn’t need to tell us. We can see for ourselves.
Posted in Starbucks, Tweetbits | Tagged Awkward Encounters, Dear Customer, Overshare, Things Customers Say, TMI | Leave a Comment »
