The Dietitian and the Barista

The following is our first guest post, brought to you by a customer of a Starbucks somewhere in West Texas.

There was a lady in front of me who had a problem with her drink. She asked Mr. Barista Man,

What are all these markings on my cup? This doesn’t taste like my normal drink!

He proceeded to read off her (no less than 15 word) drink and it turns out that she had ordered a latte but was given a mocha. She then said,

No problem. I can just drink this mocha. But wait- (shouting) DOES MOCHA HAVE CALORIES?? I CAN SUFFER THROUGH A DRINK THAT’S NOT MINE, BUT NOT IF IT HAS CALORIES!

She was told that mocha does indeed have calories and she asked for her latte. She then turned to everyone around her and explained the whole story (which we had heard loud and clear).

I WOULD’VE DRANK IT BUT MOCHA HAS CALORIES! I BET YOU CAN TELL I’M A DIETITIAN, HUH???

Note from People of Starbucks moderator: In my mind’s eye, this woman is wearing brightly-colored scrubs featuring cats.

One Man’s Trash…

One of the more glamorous aspects of being a barista is taking out the trash. This isn’t just any trash mind you, it’s the People of Starbucks‘ trash. Royal refuse!

Of the dozen or so trash cans in the store, the two most exciting to service are the “women’s only” bin and the drive-thru can. You never know WHAT you’ll find in the latter (and always have a fair idea of the former).

Today I had the pleasure of changing out the DT trash*. Even from inside the store I could tell it was a steaming doozie – trash was bursting forth and even littering the surrounding ground a bit. I armed myself with my favorite pair of yellow flock-lined latex gloves, three large trashbags, and an adventurous spirit.

Turns out I should have armed myself with blinders, for I tossed open the lid and RIGHT THERE IN MY FACE LYING COVER-SIDE UP was a big ole porn DVD. It’s like the Olsen Twins: I didn’t WANT to look, but I couldn’t help but stare for a second. I have blocked out the title of the video, but suffice to say it involved teens and crazy times with lawn equipment. <shudder>

This whole episode begs the question: WHO would throw away porn at the Starbucks Drive-Thru and why would they choose THAT MOMENT, fresh out of the line and tasty beverages in hand, to discard it? I don’t know.

But we served them coffee.

I see London, I see France…

Dear Starbucks customer, we’re sorry your lady garments don’t support your lady parts, but you didn’t need to tell us. We can see for ourselves.

Table for Two

A guy walks in an orders two Americanos. The barista asks jokingly, “are both those drinks for you?” The guy replies, “one’s for me and the other’s for the Mistake I made seven years ago.”

Wow.

Courage to Ask the Tough Questions

If you saw a rather large and big-bossomed woman wearing a shirt that said, “Ask me about my rabbits”, would you be scared to ask?

Customer Quote of the Day

I’m diabetic… I know that drink has a lot of sugar in it… I’ll just take more insulin.

Go Grease Whitenin

A lady says, “I’ve noticed a greasy residue in the bottom of my cup when I finish my White Mocha. Could you NOT PUT THAT IN THERE?”

Well, we don’t actually add grease as part of the recipe. The residue is going to be from the syrup and the whip cream, which are high in fat. Would you like me to not put that in there?

“No! I want that! I just don’t want the grease. Just stir it up real good.”

Mmmmkay.