Open Mouth, Insert Slip-Resistant Footwear

Today’s episode of Customer Interaction is a classic tale of polite conversation gone awry.

I walked into the store after being out for a break and noticed that the “comfy chair” area near the front looked like a disaster. Half-consumed beverages and torn-up napkins littered the the table top. The floor was scattered with an entire croissant’s worth of crumbs.

I made a beeline for the broom and dustpan and began to tidy up the area. Before I could finish, a woman and her young daughter walked in and sat down. I started to make friendly conversation, ’cause that’s what I do. It went like this:

Me: {sweeping} Hey! Welcome to Starbucks! I was just picking up this spot so you’d have a nice clean place to relax.

Me: {sweeping still} Just before you walked in, it looked like a TORNADO blew through here.

Her: {deadpan face} I think that tornado was us.

Me: {Horrified inside. How was I supposed to know they’d just left and RETURNED FOR MORE DAMAGE?}

Me: {I glance at toddler who’s cramming more pastry in her mouth and looks like the spawn of something awful.} Well it must have been a CUTE LITTLE TORNADO, ’cause you’re CAH-UTE!

Her: {crickets}

Me: {Retreated to the bar and helplessly watched as the Tornado continued to wreak havoc, smearing her tiny prints all over the glass door and leaving more crumbs in her wake.}

Is there a moral to this story? Probably not. At least I wasn’t complaining about the Tornado as that would have created an even more awkward situation.

(Image used courtesy of Fema for Kids.)