Snow Day

Where is my store located? It’s a big secret! But I’ll give you a hint: There’s snow on the ground.

Oh wait, that’s not a good hint because it appears there’s snow in the ground in all 50 states. No kidding!

To commemorate Flurry Friday, I did three things:

1) Use the mysterious “Snow” button on the middle console of my SUV. I have no idea what this accomplished, but it was fun to push.

2) Attempt to do donuts in the back parking lot at 6am. Too much snow and (mysteriously) too much traction made this anticlimactic (I tried it both with and without the “Snow” button option).

3) Attempt to build a snow man without the benefit of gloves. Cold hands made this attempt a little anticlimactic as well. Apparently oatmeal cups do not a good hat make.

Though I have not specifically addressed how customers should behave in the DT in snowy conditions, I have covered certain inclement weather procedures in a previous post. Today I feel it necessary to add a rule to this list. It never occurred to me to add this particular rule before, but then, nobody’s ever CROSS-COUNTRY SKIIED down my drive-thru lane.

You think I’m kidding.

I’m not.

She with skis. He with snowshoes. They were a cute couple. But just because you’re cute doesn’t mean it’s safe to ski in the lane. Just sayin.

Drive-Thru Etiquette, Part Two

Welcome back, dear students. Today we continue our lesson in Drive-Thru Etiquette, a Handy Reference Guide. I encourage you to reference the legend in the original post should you need any reminders.

Let’s talk about the DT lane itself. Though they come in various shapes, lengths, and landscaping designs, here are a few driving rules that always hold true:

  1. The DT lane is not a “thru street”. It is intended only for patrons of the store. Please do not use as a short-cut to Arby’s.
  2. Under NO CIRCUMSTANCE is it ever advised to put your car in reverse once you have committed to the lane.
  3. When approaching the DT window, please aim your car slightly left of center. My arms cannot reach your window if you are in the middle. And I have long arms.
  4. Should you be involved in an accident in the DT lane, kindly move your car into the parking lot. I cannot conduct business if you remain parked in my lane.

Rules of the Window

  1. I am not an ATM, so please do not thrust your money at me if you are not even looking in my direction. Chances are I will leave your arm there to wilt until I feel like taking your money.
  2. If you are parked more than two feet from the window, it is appreciated if you make an effort to reach out and “meet me in the middle” (see above rules on DT Lane Driving). Not everyone is as tall as me and these long reaches out the window can be physically difficult for our shorter and/or pregnant employees.
  3. If you see me holding your drink or money out the window, kindly do not make me wait for an extended time in this position while you organize your center console or gather vehicle trash.

Inclement Weather

  1. I cannot hear your order through a closed or barely-cracked window.
  2. Nobody likes to be cold and/or wet. Please do not become irritable at me as if I am the cause of the rain coming through your window. After all, you did opt to go through the DT.
  3. When you arrive at my window, please turn your windshield wipers OFF. With every swipe, they swoosh water into my face. This is unpleasant.
  4. Should road conditions become icy near your home, chances are your neighborhood DT lane is icy as well. Do not be surprised at this. It is recommended that you make coffee at home on these mornings, though, should you venture out, I will be faithfully manning the DT window.

Arguing

  1. Should you arrive at my SB and proceed to order two-dozen donuts and inform me of your free coupon, do not become upset when I gently inform you that you are NOT at Krispy Kreme. Do not argue with me that I am Krispy Kreme. Do not tell me that Krispy Kreme used to be in this location and must have “just moved” to the building next door. Do not become hostile and ask me why I don’t have donuts. Do not become exceedingly agitated with me if I politely ask you if you would like a cup of coffee before you drive over to Krispy Kreme. And, WHATEVER YOU DO, don’t put your car in reverse and slam on the gas (see above rules). You will back into the car behind you and further embarrass yourself.

That’s it for today. Until next time, may all your DT encounters be pleasant, speedy, and accident-free.