The Green Apron Gives Medical Advice

Did you hear the one about the lady who came through the drive thru?

Seems like most of my posts are starting off in this vein, but hey, I spend a good chunk of my time in a drive thru window so perhaps it’s okay.

So, really, this lady came through the DT yesterday. She asks me how many shots come in a Venti latte (two). What about a Tall (one). How about a Grande…Is that like one and a half? (no, it’s two, just like the Venti). Well, I’m five foot four. How many shots do you think I can handle?

Stop.

Did someone just ask me to recommend a number of shots based on their size? Yes.

To her question, I reply: You shouldn’t be allowed to have caffeine. I’ve never actually conducted a weight/height to espresso ratio, but I think you’re probably safe with the Grande.

Mind Reading 101

Just an average day over the drive-thru headset with a loveable customer.

Me: Hello! Welcome to Starbucks!

Confusion: HI! I WANT A TEA! WHATKINDOFTEAISITTHATILIKE? (Pause…..)

Me: Umm, dunno. Never seen you before. Would you like an iced tea or hot tea?

Confusion: IT COMES EITHER WAY! IT’S BERRY! BUT I WANT ICED.

Me: Okay, well we have a green tea, black tea, or passion tea that come iced.

Confusion: NO!

Confusion: IT’S BERRY!

Me: Ummm, maybe our Berry Blossom tea? It’s the only tea we have with “Berry”.

Confusion: NooooooooooooTHAT’S NOT IT.

Me: We have Orange Blossom, Calm, Passion, Refresh, Zen, Awake, Chai…

Confusion: CHAI!

Me: Oh, you want a Chai Tea?

Confusion: IT’S CALLED A BERRY CHAI! YEAH, I WANT THAT!

Me: I’m terribly sorry, ma’am, but the Berry Chai was a seasonal drink and we don’t have it anymore.

Confusion: REALLY? I LOVED the BERRY CHAI!!!!!!

Me: Well, you must not have been to see me in awhile because we haven’t had the Berry Chai in over a year.

Confusion: OH. WELL THAT’S BECAUSE I USUALLY DRINK THOSE FRAPP-UH-CHINOS WHEN I COME.

Me: Okay.

Confusion: WELL GIVE ME ONE OF THOSE MOCHA FRAPP-UH-CHINOS! WITH NO WHIP CREAM!

Me: Yes, ma’am. I’ll get that ready for you. Come on down to the window.

Confusion: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DON’T HAVE BERRY CHAIS NO MORE.

Confusion: DO YOU THINK THEY’LL BRING THOSE BERRY CHAIS BACK?

Me: Are we still having this conversation? I don’t know, but you can always go to the Starbucks website and let them know how much you love it and you’d like to see it again.

Confusion: Did you get NO WHIP CREAM ON THAT FRAPP-UH-CHINO?

Me: I’m not deaf. Yes, ma’am.

She finally came to the window and, believe it or not, she was still not finished discussing how wonderful the Berry Chai was, although she hadn’t attempted to order one in over a year. She also confirmed 2x more that I was not putting whip cream on her beverage. Check.

Welcome to STARBUCKS

If you ever come through our DT lane, chances are you’ll be greeted with a “Welcome to Starbucks.” This friendly little greeting serves the dual purpose of 1) being welcoming and 2) letting you know where you are.

We had a lady come through today inquiring about our sandwiches. Barista Bobby went through our available selections and Customer Cathy decided on the Turkey & Swiss. That is, until she asked about pickles and found out we didn’t have any. You don’t have PICKLES IN THERE, says she? Nope, no pickles. Isn’t this a Sandwich Shop? You remember when I welcomed you to Starbucks 30 seconds ago? No ma’am, you’re at STARBUCKS . Would you still like the Turkey & Swiss without pickles? No.