Ooooh, the shenanigans people were up to this weekend! Here’s the highlight reel:
1) Dear Annoying Phone Borrower, just because we let you use our phone every time you come in does NOT mean it’s ok to borrow the phone while sitting in your car at the DT window. (He wanted to place a call to see what his friends wanted since he was here – with our phone. Really?) Consider this:
- See those cars piling up behind you? They are thinking hateful thoughts about you!
- See these baristas with their jaw hanging open? They are stunned beyond words and are also thinking hateful thoughts!
- See those ads for cell phones all over the city? You need one! If you have enough money to come to Starbucks all the time, you have enough to pay your own phone bill.
2) Dear Construction Man Working in the Shop Next Door, no you may not turn off our water for a half hour so you can do your job. We require water to do ours!
3) Dear Santa Double, it is disturbing when you make dirty jokes to the barista at the register.
4) Dear Herd of High School Students Who Hover in Front of the Register But Don’t Order for Eight Minutes, you are nowhere near as cool as you imagine. The only thing that unnerves me more than you approaching are Herds of Hot Chocolate-Drinking Shoppers on Black Friday.
5) Dear Wife of Unknown Former Starbucks Employee, thank you for randomly delivering a pound of Sharpies through the DT window. You gave me hope for the goodness of humanity and the strength to serve all the others.