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How I Truly Feel
Dear Lady who ordered TWO INCHES of caramel in the bottom of your drink, I am judging you right now. Sincerely, Your horrified baristaMore
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Pikes Place vs. Pikes Peak
A district in Seattle vs. a mountain in Colorado. These are two distinct geographical regions. If you come into my Starbucks and ask for a “Grande Pikes Peak”, I will kindly serve you the coffee you meant to ask for, and I will secretly want to hand you a map. More
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The “I haven’t been to church in awhile” smile
No lie. My daughter works at Starbucks in Denver and she told me this little diddy: Customer in her 70’s walks in with make up piled on high and smeared red lipstick. Barista: Good morning! Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get you this morning? Customer: My what a lovely smile you have. Barista: Thank…More
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Butter NOR cheese, please?!
There have been a few times in my barista career that I’ve had to call security to take care of a customer situation, but never for a grammar-related incident. For the full story, please see: The Great Starbucks Bagel Grammar Foofaraw As the admirable Bon Qui Qui would say, “Welcome to [Starbucks] where you can…More
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It’s Not Easy Being Green
So a girl with a plant walks into a bar… Wait, wrong joke. So a girl with a plant walks into Starbucks. What kind of plant is that, I ask? Dunno, it belongs to my dad, says she…My plant died and it’s National Carry Your Plant Around Day so I borrowed his. True story.More
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Miss Swan At Starbucks
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Tit Nor Tat
No, I do not care to see your new tattoo, but thank you for offering.More
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The Dietitian and the Barista
The following is our first guest post, brought to you by a customer of a Starbucks somewhere in West Texas. There was a lady in front of me who had a problem with her drink. She asked Mr. Barista Man, What are all these markings on my cup? This doesn’t taste like my normal drink!…More
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One Man’s Trash…
One of the more glamorous aspects of being a barista is taking out the trash. This isn’t just any trash mind you, it’s the People of Starbucks‘ trash. Royal refuse! Of the dozen or so trash cans in the store, the two most exciting to service are the “women’s only” bin and the drive-thru can.…More
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I see London, I see France…
Dear Starbucks customer, we’re sorry your lady garments don’t support your lady parts, but you didn’t need to tell us. We can see for ourselves.More
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Table for Two
A guy walks in an orders two Americanos. The barista asks jokingly, “are both those drinks for you?” The guy replies, “one’s for me and the other’s for the Mistake I made seven years ago.” Wow.More
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Courage to Ask the Tough Questions
If you saw a rather large and big-bossomed woman wearing a shirt that said, “Ask me about my rabbits”, would you be scared to ask?More